First came LOVE, then came MARRIAGE, then came Lisa and a BABY carriage.
I don’t know about you, but in reality, I got that all kinds of mixed up!
The funny thing is, most of the ideas we have about love and marriage are all wrong!
So how can our marriage thrive when our idea of marriage is different than our reality?
As a child, I looked forward to the day that my knight in shining armor would sweep me off my feet and carry me away on clouds of pure bliss!
Unfortunately, as I grew older the reality of abuse and adultery in my family became very real.
So did the fear that my dream would never come true!
I adopted the belief that there was no such thing as a knight in shining armor, only lies and deception.
Those fears took root deep inside of my heart, disguising themselves as strength and protection, when in reality, they were fear of rejection and self destruction.
Roots planted deep and used by Satan to try and destroy me, and later my marriage.
John 10:10 The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.
That’s why I want to use the month of February to talk about Tony and I’s Wildfire marriage.
God created marriage and he wants it to thrive.
The enemy wants it destroyed and he will use any and everything he can to accomplish that mission.
The Wildfire Process of Marriage
Tony and I got married at the wise age of 20 … yes, I am being very sarcastic!
We were so clueless but totally captivated by each other!
From day one we were stuck like glue! We wanted to be together every waking moment possible.
I have to be honest, that hasn’t changed for us!
After almost 17 years, that’s a fact I am very proud of, but here’s the deal.
Having a thriving marriage takes work!
I’m guessing you would agree?
The fact is, we all walk into our marriage with roots. Some are good. Some are bad.
This makes me think of something Tony’s grandfather taught him. He said “ Every Woman has something wrong with them, so unless you plan marrying an ugly one you have to work on finding out what is wrong on the inside, and then decide whether or not its worth it to you to still spend the rest of your life with her”.
I can’t tell you how much this has helped my incredible man love me through my crazy!
Over the next month, I am excited to dig into some root issues, as well as some more applicable things that have been vital in the strengthening of Tony and I’s marriage. Tony and I will be sharing both of our perspectives on keeping the spark in your marriage alive, how to identify the root causes of instability in your marriage, and how to stay close while navigating the seasons of life.
Today I want to leave you with three things to consider and think on.
You and your spouse are human beings with a past.
Close your eyes for just a moment and think of your life as a big open field that all of your experiences have taken root in. Can you see it? Your field is full of good and bad plants, some are beautiful and full of life, but others are painful choke out the growth and joy in your life. Some will require a wildfire process to sweep through and burn them out, so healthier roots can grow. This takes time. Be patient and realize that EVERY person on earth will have to go through this process as they grow into the best version of themselves.
Don’t assume you’ve already mastered communication.
None of us are mind readers . If we want a healthy marriage, then we must have a healthy line of communication open at all times. Even the best communicators have to learn and develop this skill in their marriage. As long as we are alive, we will grow new roots. Being 100% open and vulnerable with your spouse allows you to work your field and create something truly beautiful TOGETHER.
Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. 1 Peter 4:8
I am forever grateful for a man who has loved me through my mess and has opened up enough to me to love him through his!
Tony and I won’t pretend t have all the answers but we do have a heart to be real and share what we have learned.
We are personally grateful for the wisdom that has been passed on to us by strong married couples, like our parents and grandparents.
We pray these posts will ignite a new spark deep inside of your marriage!
We would also like to thank you for all of your love, prayers and support as we get the word out about Wildfire Breaking Free! We truly appreciate every like, comment and social media share made on the buttons below each post! Your support means more than you know!
With love & his spark,