I've made a mistake and it's time to come CLEAN!
I've made a mistake and it's time to come CLEAN! I have kept this dirty little secret and I can't keep it any longer. I realize that if I keep it to myself it won't hurt anyone but it also won't help anyone.
I struggled to find a "healthy lifestyle" for years. I knew that it was important but as long as I kept my weight off, I found that I didn't care how it came off! I, like many other people allowed the number on the scale or the reflection in the mirror to tell me if I was healthy or not. Now I know that the scale and those mirrors lie!
The truth is that even though I was teaching fitness classes and even training people one on one, I kept that mentality that I could work off what I ate. I denied the knowledge that I had and now I know its because I didn't want to face the facts. I couldn't out train a bad diet and those quick fixes didn't work, they only made things worse!
It took me quite a few challenge groups to realize that I was an emotional eater and that I couldn't allow myself to do anything to restrictive because although it may bring me quick results, it later sends me into binge mode! This healthy lifestyle thing truly is a journey, it takes time to recognize the traps that you may have fallen into and how you can make sure that you won't do that again. Most people get frustrated with this process and just chalk it up to the fact that they can't do it, they can't keep the weight off. I am here to say that isn't true, you CAN!
You see, I made a mistake a few months ago and I knew better! After doing the Whole 30 with a group of mine, I decided to do the Whole 9. Don't get me wrong, I learned a lot about myself on the Whole 30. I learned that certain foods irritate me and that I really could go without sugar. I felt amazing and the truth is that if I would have stopped there and listened to what the book said then this wouldn't have happened.
After the Whole 30 and then the Whole 9 a friend of mine decided to give it a try. I do not at all blame this on her because she even told me that it was ok, I didn't have to do it with her but against my better judgment I repeated the Whole 30 again a month after. I wanted to support my friend but instead I set myself up for total failure! I had learned so much about eating clean and had come so far! I was on the right track and then I took it too far. Looking back now I know that enough just wasn't enough. Although I wanted to support a friend I really wanted to see just how fit I could get! I had never eaten that clean before and after 3 kids, I couldn't remember my body being tighter then it was after that challenge! So against my better judgment I went for it, ignoring that small voice telling me to keep eating clean and be happy with where I was.
Needless to say I didn't even make it through the 30 days of round 2. I failed miserably and ended up wanting to eat everything in sight! Everything that I had ever craved I ate, even when it didn't taste good...Nutty Butter Bars didn't stand a chance...gross I know! The truth once again slapped me in the face...if I wanted to keep the weight off, truly be healthy from the inside out, then I had to eat in a way that I could live with. I am NOT someone who can be deprived. I have to have the things I love from time to time. Those things are limited but if I feel like the are totally off limits then something snaps in my brain and well like I said above, its not good! That's one of the many reasons that I love what I do. I love the support, accountability and the reminder that this is a one step at a time journey, not a race to be skinny!
I shared all of that to say, take the time to think about the traps you have fallen into. Once you recognize them then pay attention to the signs. I said yes to something that I knew wasn't good for me because of my past. I knew it wasn't a lifestyle that I could or even should have tried to maintain for a long period of time and it took me a while to get back on track.
Always remember that no matter how badly you want to look good in those jeans, lose the weight or even see just how far you can push your own body, you have to be realistic, you have to know yourself, love yourself and not be to hard on yourself. When you fall, get back up! If you know it hasn't worked in the past, try something new. In the end, I had to realize that there were no true quick fixes out there, they just don't last! So take it from me and stick with what works, Good ole fashioned exercise and proper nutrition is the key.